[senas1]

hi i was born in a ,muslim family, and was religeous till the age of 16 when i started doubting everything. i was originally born in Iran and when came to australia, i started questioning the freedom for people of other faiths. once i decided to read quaran throughly with translation, however the translator had put his own interpretation in and it insulted christians saying that they are peole who have lost the way to the truth(i think that was it), and i left Islam. but i lost my father when i was very young, he was a devoted muslim and a very good man. i have always worried about disappointing him, so i have decided to understand Islam and see if i ever can regain my faith in it. i have a lot of questions, i can not ask it directly from muslim friends because they might get insulted and defensive. would anyone on this board be willing to answer my questions? thanks somayeh

[Aslan]

Hi,
Ask your questions in the "Question & Answer" section.

Take care.

[irfanrazakhan]

Sorry to be rude, but i've noticed a trend, it's always Iranian's that seem to be loseing faith, intresting, i hope Ali sinaa hasn''t helped in your loseing faith?  i wonder why you questioned the freedom of other people's faith, when you was suppose to be a Muslim, why did'nt you question the freedom within your faith first?
 
Seriously what has loseing the way (misguided) got to do with anyone's freedom, and you're not even sure if that was what helped you in renounceing Islam?
very strange    


Your Questions are welcome, please do us all a favour dont copy and paste stuff of Ali sinaa'site we've been over it and refuted it a thousand times, please take the time and search through our forums for your answer's, and if they don't exist then post your question

Peace

[sadia786]

TOO right there bro Irfan... I've met many Iranians that have gone off the rails....

Only Almighty ALLAH JALLAH SHANAY HO know why some people make the decisions they do....!

no offence intended....

[Attaria23]

One thing I can't get around is why people lose faith In Allah Azwajal, If your own faith is weak do not blame the teachings of the Holy Qura'an and His beloved Prophet Muhammed

Our role model in life should be the Prophet Muhammed who prayed for his Ummath, the time He was born he was in prostration, he said Rabbi habblee ummathi (ya Allah save my Ummath) and this is how ignorant Muslims repay Him, I'm sorry to be so harsh but you cant make up your mind being born as a Muslim we change our ways to suit us and the way of the Kuffars.

You have mentioned that your father (May Allah grant Him paradise) has past away, Undoubtedly man may be afflicted with psychological problems such as worries about the future and grief over the past. Psychological problems affect the body more than physical problems do. We should know that the worries and distress that affect a person are among the things that expiate his sins and reduce the burden of sin; if he is patient and seeks reward with Allaah, he will be rewarded for that.

Treating these problems in the ways prescribed in Islam is more effective than treating them with physical medicine, as is well known.

May Allah guide those who have gone astray. Ameen
May Allah help you find the truth, which was yours and you let go.

[mibrahim]

DEAR sister / brother, please read this carefully.

---

You are more than welcome to ask your questions. my knowledge is limited - but I will try my best - and if I fail to meet your expectations, I owe my sincere apologies. My english is poor, hope you will bare with me.

---

the Qur'an translations are often mis interpreted - if you compare three or four different translations the meaning / interpretation changes. the Qur'an itself is therefore in Arabic and till today since the time of Hazrat Muhammad (pbuh), no one has even dared to alter a word. The very fact you are stating that the Qur'an's translations made you leave Islam contradicts what you say. Had your decision been such a MAJOR issue in your life, as you are making it sound your research would have been more thorough. Tell me which human being in this world make MAJOR decisions in their lives without a thorough investigation ?

---

So either 1. You leaving Islam was not a major decision for you or 2. The translations of the Qur'an whether they be faulty or not did not make you leave Islam. You did that to yourself, convincing yourself alone does not make it an universal truth.

---

One of closest friends once asked me, you are so intelligent, why do you believe in God ? So I will give you one of the answers of what I told him.


If you read the Qur'an almost every verse of the Qur'an in written in some rhyme or slant rhyme.

---

Example : Al-Hamdullilah hir Rabbil Al Amin, Ar Rahmaner Rahim
Malik Yaowmiddin

---

Poetic structure : A B A.

---

There are 6667 verses in the Qur'an. The Entire Qur'an was written in poetic structure at an extraordinary quality of brilliance and majesticity in its verses.
That itself is beyond human intelligence.

---

A series of poets if I recall correctly challenged the Muslims, and failed to come up with anything that would match the rich text of the Qur'an, forget 6667 verses.

---

I believe there is a verse in the Qur'an which challenges all humans to provide a Surah similar to the Qur'an. No one till today has suceeded in doing so. Atleast that is how I interpreted it, may Allah forgive if I am wrong.

---

a famous sufi once said I went to the Temple, I could not find God, I went to the Church I could not find God, I went to the Mosque and I could not find God - so I looked deep in my heart and there he was. I think that is the best place for you to start - my apologies if I have offended you in anyway - that was not my intention.

---

Mohammed - if you are reading this, this is your brother - would you be kind enough to do some library work based on what I cited for verification ? (based on the verses and hadith) or anyone else.

---

Your patience is appreciated.

[senas1]

i have no problem with the existance of god. i truly believe that God exist. yet i like to question that belief sometimes and i agree with you the reading of the quaran was not the main factor that made me leave islam. i was forced to accept the religion without questioning it, in iran you can't question qaran or prophet mohammad's behaviour. i'll be truthfull i didn't just loose faith in Islam, i lost faith in any religion, the fact that head of every religion say that this is the best religion, and the only way to God makes me confused. was leaving islam a major decision in my life? i don't know. i remember how peaceful my father was because he believed in his religion, he believed he was on the right path! look at my mother when she prays and i envy the peace i see in her. perhaps it is not losing faith in islam that worries me, but not knowing the truth (i already know that there is not only one truth, but many). p.s i don't understand how your reply, answers my question i posted about homesexuality

[mibrahim]

I am going to write this post with a spice of laughter so you don't feel not welcome, bored, discouraged etc.

once again, my english is poor, so please bare with me and please forgive if I have offended you in any way.

"p.s i don't understand how your reply, answers my question i posted about homesexuality"

1. second paragraph, "Quran's verses are often misinterpreted" stresses the importance of not jumping into conclusions without thorough research. The very fact that women and men do not have equal punishments is incorrect.

Ugh, are you kiddin me ? Honestly, I dont mean to insult your intelligence but don't you think you are embarassing yourself ? Even an idiot knows that in an Islamic household the woman is always the man of the house ! ;]

Please dont confuse fanatic Iranian Mullahs or Saudi Wahabi with a tollerant Muslim Mumeen.

Your intention so far it seems is to find some kind of imbalance so as to prove that Islam's way of life is wrong. Believe me ! You will never find it. Instead of blabbering what you had been SPOON FED, wake up !

My advice to you is to look at the bigger picture and do some thorough library work - and by that I mean stop reading some random book titled "Islam - The Religion of Hate" - and I also don't expect you to read some book titled "KAFIRS - REASONS WHY WE SHOULD KILL THEM- JEEEHAAAAD EEHA !"

Allow me to help you to start with some books , read some poems by the great Sufi Poet Hazrat Rumi - that's a good place to start - unless my brothers and sisters here can recommend otherwise. The verses of the Qur'an have such deep interpretations even the best of scholars travel a great deal to break down the actual meaning of the verses. Just showing a comparison to justify why books written on Islam by a Western critic would lack depth.

When you read poems, you may feel something in your heart - that is Islam.

If my brothers and sisters disagree otherwise, I apologize for any inconvenience. Some of the greatest Sufis in the world are Iranian, Harat Umar Al-Shurawardi from Abbasid, Hazrat Khaza Mounuddin Chisti, Hazrat Abdul Qadir Jilliani - may Allah grant you a touch of in your heart, what they gave to these great people in their hearts through which what was granted a touch of ... into our hearts.

[mibrahim]

also wanted to add something, my mother - she speaks fluent farsi - and lost her father when she was 12. people say they used to see her every day after school next to her father, hiding herself - crying - and had done so for years. if by any chance I offended you in anyway I owe you my sincere apology - the love you have for your father, and those who care for you and love you - that is true Islam. True love is embedded in purity which is beyond needs and the heart can never forget, (interpretation for Religion of Peace)

[senas1]

dear Muhammad Ibrahim i didn't feel insulted at all by your reply. i agree with you that doing non-biased research about islam is a very good place to start. yet it is very difficult to find unbiased books. you're suggestion of the books are appreciated. i already am a big fan of the Iranian poet Hafez (i don't know if he was one of the poets you suggested), but even though he was a muslim and knew quaran by heart, and probably that knowledge affected his writting, his poems do not answer my question about Islam. yes it is always said that muslim women are the "man" of their house. yet i have three sisters who married men who pray, fast and read quaran, yet my sisters are nothing but slaves in their housholds (even if they like to deny it). on the other hand my brother is married to a non-muslim (an ex-catholic), they have their share of problems but they are equal in their house. my parents both good muslims, my mother was the ruler in the house. what i am trying to get at is that the statment you made was a big generalization. i was taught that Islam improved the position of women in society, yet in a lot of islamic societies women do not have equal real rights (any rela rights). in some countries women have to walk behind their husband, they can not travel without male companian, they cannot get jobs without their husbands permission, the law does not acknowledge that women can be raped by her husband. you said that i want to find something wrong with Islam and that i can not (i know many who claim they have), yet i personally do not think any religion is wrong, it is how people interpret it that makes it right or wrong. what i am trying to see is, what is really Islam? and to those who are wondering why a lot of Iranian muslims leave islam, it is good to consider that Iranian demanded a Islamic ruling country, yet what they got was a govenment who takes away their right to think and speak, no wonder a lot of us loose faith in Islam!

[Mohammed-Haleem]

Originally posted by: xxxx xxxx

dear Muhammad Ibrahim
i didn't feel insulted at all by your reply. i agree with you that doing non-biased research about islam is a very good place to start. yet it is very difficult to find unbiased books. you're suggestion of the books are appreciated. i already am a big fan of the Iranian poet Hafez (i don't know if he was one of the poets you suggested), but even though he was a muslim and knew quaran by heart, and probably that knowledge affected his writting, his poems do not answer my question about Islam.
yes it is always said that muslim women are the "man" of their house. yet i have three sisters who married men who pray, fast and read quaran, yet my sisters are nothing but slaves in their housholds (even if they like to deny it). on the other hand my brother is married to a non-muslim (an ex-catholic), they have their share of problems but they are equal in their house. my parents both good muslims, my mother was the ruler in the house. what i am trying to get at is that the statment you made was a big generalization.
i was taught that Islam improved the position of women in society, yet in a lot of islamic societies women do not have equal real rights (any rela rights). in some countries women have to walk behind their husband, they can not travel without male companian, they cannot get jobs without their husbands permission, the law does not acknowledge that women can be raped by her husband.
you said that i want to find something wrong with Islam and that i can not (i know many who claim they have), yet i personally do not think any religion is wrong, it is how people interpret it that makes it right or wrong. what i am trying to see is, what
is really Islam?

and to those who are wondering why a lot of Iranian muslims leave islam, it is good to consider that Iranian demanded a Islamic ruling country, yet what they got was a govenment who takes away their right to think and speak, no wonder a lot of us loose faith in Islam!

It would help if your Speech was spaced out, anyways well regarding women and men its all tradtion islam does not say the wife has to walk behind the husband, and how can your husband rape you??? after all wen you marry him you submit ur soul/body to him!



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[senas1]

muhammed Haleem a lot of muslim women marry men that their family approves of (sometimes they are quite young, haven't meet and dated enough men to see what they desire in a life time partner, that was the case with my sisters). and i do not know about you, but i do not give my soul and body to the person i marry. that would be an insult. to me marrige is a legal contract between too people who have decided they like to share their lives with each other. a women might be upset with her husband, or she might be tired or for god sake she might have feelings for another man and is trying to come to terms with it, for whatever reason she might refuse her husband for a night a month or a year.you wouldn't consider a man who forces himself on his wife when she refuses him a rapist! and thankyou for the quate about trusting allah and he will satisfy my need. i do trust God with my whole heart, he has given me the chance to look for the truth and not blindly follow what others tell me. i am sure that i will find the right way for me, in the end.

[senas1]

by the way i did space out in the last posting, it just doesn't come whne i post it?! i am not that computer literate, any help on how to post without loosing the spacing would be appreciated. thankyou somayeh

[Mohammed-Haleem]

Originally posted by: xxxx xxxx

muhammed Haleem
a lot of muslim women marry men that their family approves of (sometimes they are quite young,haven't meet and dated enough men to see what they desire in a life time partner, that was the case with my sisters).

When did dating become permissiable in islam?

and i do not know about you, but i do not give my soul and body to the person i marry. that would be an insult. to me marrige is a legal contract between too people who have decided they like to share their lives with each other.

Which inculdes there body!

a women might be upset with her husband, or she might be tired or for god sake she might have feelings for another man and is trying to come to terms with it, for whatever reason she might refuse her husband for a night a month or a year.you wouldn't consider a man who forces himself on his wife when she refuses him a rapist!

Well the husband has to agree with the wife if it on health term she can say no if it not on health term she cant refuse!

and thankyou for the quate about trusting allah and he will satisfy my need. i do trust God with my whole heart, he has given me the chance to look for the truth and not blindly follow what others tell me. i am sure that i will find the right way for me, in the end.
[IMG][/IMG]

InshALLAH!

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[Yaseen-Dziaee]

Originally posted by: xxxx xxxx by the way i did space out in the last posting, it just doesn't come whne i post it?! i am not that computer literate, any help on how to post without loosing the spacing would be appreciated. thankyou somayeh Assalamualaikum Use Internet Explorer when posting.

[venus_zany]

Originally posted by: xxxx xxxx

muhammed Haleem
a lot of muslim women marry men that their family approves of (sometimes they are quite young, haven't meet and dated enough men to see what they desire in a life time partner, that was the case with my sisters).

[IMG][/IMG]

Brother, in Islam we are not allowed to date. But this doesn't mean two people are not allowed to talk or get to know each other in the presence of a chaperon. In the West, on average adolescents start dating in grade 8, and this cycle of endless break-ups and new boyfriend and girlfriend goes on until like late 20s to early 30s.

So by your definition they should know what they are looking for in a spouse more than us, right?! Then brother how come the West has the highest divorce rate in the world?

You might counter-argue that, by saying how women are oppressed, therefore they don't voice their feelings. And, that argument maybe true in the third world countries (like India and Pakistan) where women are deprived of education. But it's the culture that's holding these women back not the religion.

Islam really did give women rights, that they were deprived of in the Pre-Islamic era.

Like you saying:

"a women might be upset with her husband, or she might be tired or for god sake she might have feelings for another man and is trying to come to terms with it, for whatever reason she might refuse her husband for a night a month or a year.you wouldn't consider a man who forces himself on his wife when she refuses him a rapist! "

For a marriage to become legal in the Islamic law it is ESSENTIAL to ask for the girl's consent. 

Islam requires the husband to show compassion towards the girl. There are Islamic books and articles written about this topic. Islamic marriages are not all about sex. It's about submission and care. A husband is REQUIRED to treat his wife with love and care. Look after her. Be kind to her. He's not allowed to force himself on her. A true Islamic husband would fit any girl's fantasy of her perfect guy.

Similarly, a wife is required to fulfill her husband's needs. 
 
Please don't get the culture and religion mixed up. In Islam husband and wife are equals, one's a driver, the other's a navigator.

[Mohammed-Haleem]

Originally posted by: * *

Originally posted by: xxxx xxxxmuhammed Haleema lot of muslim women marry men that their family approves of (sometimes they are quite young, haven't meet and dated enough men to see what they desire in a life time partner, that was the case with my sisters).[IMG][/IMG]Brother, in Islam we are not allowed to date. But this doesn't mean two people are not allowed to talk or get to know each other in the presence of a chaperon. In the West, on average adolescents start dating in grade 8, and this cycle of endless break-ups and new boyfriend and girlfriend goes on until like late 20s to early 30s. So by your definition they should know what they are looking for in a spouse more than us, right?! Then brother how come the West has the highest divorce rate in the world? You might counter-argue that, by saying how women are oppressed, therefore they don't voice their feelings. And, that argument maybe true in the third world countries (like India and Pakistan) where women are deprived of education. But it's the culture that's holding these women back not the religion. Islam really did give women rights, that they were deprived of in the Pre-Islamic era. Like you saying:"a women might be upset with her husband, or she might be tired or for god sake she might have feelings for another man and is trying to come to terms with it, for whatever reason she might refuse her husband for a night a month or a year.you wouldn't consider a man who forces himself on his wife when she refuses him a rapist! "For a marriage to become legal in the Islamic law it is ESSENTIAL to ask for the girl's consent. Islam requires the husband to show compassion towards the girl. There are Islamic books and articles written about this topic. Islamic marriages are not all about sex. It's about submission and care. A husband is REQUIRED to treat his wife with love and care. Look after her. Be kind to her. He's not allowed to force himself on her. A true Islamic husband would fit any girl's fantasy of her perfect guy. Similarly, a wife is required to fulfill her husband's needs.  Please don't get the culture and religion mixed up. In Islam husband and wife are equals, one's a driver, the other's a navigator.




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[senas1]

firstly i have to apologise for the fact that there is going to be no spaces, since my laptop doesn't have the enternet explorer program, it only has Safari. so please bear with me

[mibrahim]

You are saying your sisters are slaves in their households - perhaps there are some interesting facts you should look forward to and re-evaluate.

I live in the U.S. so I am pulling out stats from an anthropological study research.

This is what happens in western socities.

The concntration of the facts are focused on three areas, 1. Teen pregnancy  2. Abortion 3. Sexually transmitted disease 4. Murder 5. Battering 6. Sexual Assults - I can add atleast three more in the list - and if I start continuing you will be embarassed - till now - you made three statements and all of them have back fired.

1. Islamic Judicial system having imbalance
2. Your reason for leaving Islam - which was self - contradictory and you acknowledged.
3. Women being oppressed, "slaves in their household" in your words

The response to number three is given below - please read the facts, hit the library and do a check for the numbers and figures for verification.

Each year, almost 1 million teenage women--10% of all women aged 15-19 and 19% of those who have had sexual intercourse--become pregnant.
 
13% of all U.S. births are to teens

Nearly 4 in 10 teen pregnancies (excluding those ending in miscarriages) are terminated by abortion. Do you know what this does to a woman ?

Right now moving on ...

Every year 3 million teens--about 1 in 4 sexually experienced teens--acquire an STD.

In a single act of unprotected sex with an infected partner, a teenage woman has a 1% risk of acquiring HIV, a 30% risk of getting genital herpes and a 50% chance of contracting gonorrhea.

MURDER. Every day four women die in this country as a result of domestic violence, the euphemism for murders and assaults by husbands and boyfriends. That's approximately 1,400 women a year, according to the FBI. The number of women who have been murdered by their intimate partners is greater than the number of soldiers killed in the Vietnam War.

BATTERING. Although only 572,000 reports of assault by intimates are officially reported to federal officials each year, the most conservative estimates indicate two to four million women of all races and classes are battered each year. At least 170,000 of those violent incidents are serious enough to require hospitalization, emergency room care or a doctor's attention.

SEXUAL ASSAULT. Every year approximately 132,000 women report that they have been victims of rape or attempted rape, and more than half of them knew their attackers. It's estimated that two to six times that many women are raped, but do not report it. Every year 1.2 million women are forcibly raped by their current or former male partners, some more than once.

THE TARGETS. Women are 10 times more likely than men to be victimized by an intimate. Young women, women who are separated, divorced or single, low- income women and African-American women are disproportionately victims of assault and rape. Domestic violence rates are five times higher among families below poverty levels, and severe spouse abuse is twice as likely to be committed by unemployed men as by those working full time. Violent attacks on lesbians and gay men have become two to three times more common than they were prior to 1988.

IMPACT ON CHILDREN. Violent juvenile offenders are four times more likely to have grown up in homes where they saw violence. Children who have witnessed violence at home are also five times more likely to commit or suffer violence when they become adults.

IMPACT ON HEALTH AND SOCIAL SERVICES. Women who are battered have more than twice the health care needs and costs than those who are never battered. Approximately 17 percent of pregnant women report having been battered, and the results include miscarriages, stillbirths and a two to four times greater likelihood of bearing a low birth weight baby. Abused women are disproportionately represented among the homeless and suicide victims. Victims of domestic violence are being denied insurance in some states because they are considered to have a "pre-existing condition."

I have another 5 to 6 more points to add about divorce, american judicial system  - my wife is a lawyer she had another 8 or 9 to write - and she thinks your claim on women being oppressed in the household is a joke - her words are you are in some illusion and you alone, can help yourself. Your words are way off the chart and till now have no actual facts or data to back up what you are saying.

But I know marriage, and I will tell you what, there are bad husbands just as there are bad wives - if you are talking about something from tabligh - I have seen them mis treating their women - they fast pray etc - but their inside is hollow - Hazrat Abdul Qader Jilliani a famous sufi said along the lines of you can be a monotheist on your cover but a polytheist inside - how I interpreted this is if you truly love Allah, and fear Allah's punishment then you can never transgress limits - in my opinion Muslim fanatics are show off outside and their inside is empty. If this is the case with your sisters' husbands -  you have my utmost sympathy - good Muslim mumeens of Ahl-E-Sunnah think twice before any action they take based on transgressions.

And when they are not sure they constantly ask for forgiveness from the creator and from the person or people who may be offended. This is why I constantly apologize so you do not take offense in any of my words.

Even Hazrat Muhammad according to a hadith, I cannot be sure of its authenticity - from Bukhari/ Muslim used to ask for forgiveness 70 times a day from the creator - this is who we call "The Perfect Man" and he is humbling himself out of modesty.

If you are feeling in secured about your own self thinking please do not take it out on Islam, when we do not agree on an ideology we discuss it among ourselves - and if it affects our policy we speak against it, but we never go to westerners and say your way is wrong and biased - your range of capacity to think is limited and your "free media" is really not neutral - westerns are so stubborn that they cannot think beyond than what they see - I used the term "Spoon fed" in my last post. And when we get into a major discussion and they press their arrogant ways we tell them "To you is your way, to me is mine"

[mibrahim]

xxxx xxxx List of sources for you to check if you want to verify with academic work at your local library based on the post made above.

"Violence Against Women: A National Crime Victimization Survey Report", U.S. Department of Justice, Washington, D.C., January 1994.
"The National Women's Study," Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center, Medical University of South Carolina, Charleston, SC, 1992.
"Five Issues In American Health," American Medical Association, Chicago, 1991.
Bullock, Linda F. and Judith McFarlane, "The Birth Weight/Battering Connection," Journal of American Nursing, September 1989.
McFarlane, Judith, et. al., "Assessing for Abuse During Pregnancy," Journal of the American Medical Association, June 17, 1992.
Federal Bureau of Investigation statistics, 1992.
Sheehan, Myra A. "An Interstate Compact on Domestic Violence: What are the Advantages?" Juvenile and Family Justice Today, 1993.
Sherman, Lawrence W. et al. Domestic Violence: Experiments and Dilemmas, 1990.