[Sister.T]

Asslamu Alaikum brothers and sisters

I just wanted to ask firstly is it right for your dad to call you names and say horrible things to you? And what should he do after hes been unkind to his daughter? If I get enough replies I will explain what has happened. Is it right for him to do that?

Also, I was wondering you know how Allah loves people that will sacrifice anything for him to love him and Islam? Well, what about sacrificing for family? Because I live in a house where they don't practise Islam much only I do. Me and family are Muslim but I just feel so lost being at home and around them.

I've tried to get them on the same level as me to pray more gain more knowledge etc but it's failed and I am having problems at home. I have been threatened by parents, called bad names and more and I cannot go on living like this please tell me if its best I leave?? I'm so confused!

- Sister.T

[Fekay]

Here, hope you find this information useful.

Is it permissible for a young Muslim girl to move out of the home, due to very abusive parents? Can a girl marry without her father's consent?

Due to copyright reasons, I can only post the link > http://spa.qibla.com...D=4818&CATE=212

[Sister.T]

 Fekay, on 15 June 2012 - 05:02 PM, said:

Here, hope you find this information useful.

Is it permissible for a young Muslim girl to move out of the home, due to very abusive parents? Can a girl marry without her father's consent?

Due to copyright reasons, I can only post the link > http://spa.qibla.com...D=4818&CATE=212

Jazakallah it did help but they know how I am feeling as I'm very upset and I am in depression and I am being put on anti depressants. I've lost a lot of weight coz of stress and my mum knows it as she was there with me when I went to the doctors but still nothing!

[harun7865]

 Sister.T, on 15 June 2012 - 05:11 PM, said:

Jazakallah it did help but they know how I am feeling as I'm very upset and I am in depression and I am being put on anti depressants. I've lost a lot of weight coz of stress and my mum knows it as she was there with me when I went to the doctors but still nothing!

Dear sister I feel for you genuinely, however don't be in haste to change others, work on yourself and become steadfast in prayer. If it is in Allah's will the hearts and minds of your family will change for the better. Otherwise if you yourself are not yet steadfast and strong in practicing your Islam then this environment will stop you also. Have faith insha'Allah and establish prayer with regularity. Barak Allah fi

[Sister.T]

Jazakallah brother but I do pray I keep strong try keep my imaan strong but just feel that they are always putting me down. I know I won't leave the path of Allah but its just I can't be in an environment like this!

[Malaaikah]

Wa alaikumsalam dear,

I hope your well and the highest of Imaan.

Firstly I would like to say Im sorry to hear of your bad situation, it doesnt seem that long ago that I was in the same boat actially, so I do know how you feel believe it or not, and I do have the answer to your question. Its not right for your parents to treat you in that way, however, you have to bear it with patience and treat them with kindness and care. Treat them how you want to be treated not how they treat you. You know my father used to shout at me all the time but I know it was because he was in pain and he couldnt bear so yeh most of the time I was the innocent victim in all of this Alhamudlillah.

But Alhamdulillah it doesnt happen anymore as much because he lost his voice unfortunately, I actually wish his voice never disappeared because when I witness what he goes through its pretty bad. I dont want him to be in this situation of course but sometimes he does get his voice back an he will give a quiet shout to me but it doesnt really affect me. He never really learnt his lesson I guess.

So my answer is just be patient theres no poin in packing your bags and leaving because you will most likely end up with a worse life than you started off with!

Anyway I hope you manage to get through this.

Remember me in your duas...

[Sister.T]

Wa Alaikum Assalam

Wow ur situation has helped me change my mind. I do treat my family the way they should be treated and my dad doesn't speak one word to me only says salaam when I say it to him in the morning but sometimes he doesn't which angers me coz that's being disrespectful and he's being really disrespectful lately not just to me but to others too I feel so lost. I just don't know what to do anymore I have no help from others around me I pray all the time I read Quran and ask Allah for help and patience. Things seem to be getting worse but insha'Allah they will get better but I can't take it anymore I'm so depressed that my doctor has out me on antidepressants now as well as antibiotics.

[Malaaikah]

Your situation is normal. It happens to all of us sometime in our lives so your not alone. Can I ask What is the reason behind his behaviour? Has he always been like this? If you cant think of a reason try and find out. Also I bet you hear this all the time but yes you have to be patient there is light at the end of every tunnel!

PS I dont thhink there is a need in taking anti depressents. It will make you worse. The last thing I wouldve done is gone to the doctors. The more medicine they prescribe the better it is for them. So maybe you should try to stop taking these pills their no good. Turn to Islam, recite la hawla wa la quwwata illa billahil alayil adheem plenty of times in shaa Allah...

[Aljannah]

Look to your past inheritance from the many strong women that have passed by. Prophets wives throughout time, their daughters.. you'll count yourself a million times lucky in comparison. This is why they'll be remembered throughout history.

Muslim born families, especially today, are neglecting their duties to Allah swt and running after the World. The educated n non educated, there's no difference in comparing their ones Stupidness and the other.. its all the same?

Anyway, may Allah swt guide them. Ameen. Your mum should be a source of compassion for you, being a woman herself, seeing what she's been through, and knowing you'll be going through too one day, oh and she did also give birth to you. You'd think where are their sense of understanding/believing. Idk how some woman can live a cold life like this sometimes, but yes they do exist. And its up to us to turn these Snow Queens into the caring compassionate loving creatures of Allah swt intended to make. They may have forgotten how to feel. That'll be your cue.

When people give their side of the story its hard to get a full picture, without seeing it the other side. So I will assume here that Sister you are approaching your family members with love and compassion. Not giving them any reason to fault you. Doing your Salaah on time, reciting Qur'an and doing its Tasfeer whenever you have free time.

With all mentioned above, I don't see this test lasting long, as Allah swt doesn't put us under test we can't handle. So hold on there it'll get better soon Insha'Allaah tala.

BTW get mummy on your side. She might look like the innocent one in all this, she actually is the Boss of the house, and nothing happens there without her knowing. Obviously approach with respect n love and all that jazz. She can help your dad to be more kinder to you.