[Snoop]

Salam ladies and gents,

I hope you are all well and enjoying the sunshine...so I'm the man of the house and this is how it works.......

Controversial title on purpose....just to grab your attention!


So, as I have been growing up I have been fortunate enough to have a wonderful role model as a father, his father was great (may Allah give him jannah) and I'm sure their inspiration was Rasullah (saw) and guidance from their Shaykh...

I saw my dad wash the dishes, iron his own clothes, make the best daal and roti i have ever had, clean the windows, hoover, pick up grand-kids from school and soooooo much more. So for me, this was normal but now I actually realise how abnormal this is in some households. Man, those men are missing out on so much!

I do the same in my house for my wife and kids. We share everything (most of the time!). It's a team effort, and it is so rewarding! My son WILL help with everything just like his sister will Insha-Allah.

My point is, there is nothing more manly than helping your wife and kids around the house. It creates a proper team environment where we work for each other and everyone benefits.

Of course I have days where I'm a lazy toad but who doesn't?!

Rasulallah (saw) didn't shy away from helping his wives with chores and stuff, so by doing 'house work' you are only implementing the Sunnah. We can't argue with that....

So brothers, lets don the apron, washing up gloves and brillo pads and get cracking.....

Yes your wife, mum or sister might think you're a tad crazy but what the hell? Brownie Points big time!


Peace

[YaNabi-Chemist]

Yes its good,

Also, men will do specific tasks better than women ie if a man decides to hoover the house no spot will be left un-sucked. However, a woman can do it quicker and probably multitask at the same time - it's still a shoddy job in comparison to the male though.

Just an observation....

[Malaaikah]

Dear brothers,

Please take a leaf out of this legends great book

Thank you.

[badman]

Snoop, on 23 May 2012 - 09:09 PM, said:

Salam ladies and gents,

I hope you are all well and enjoying the sunshine...so I'm the man of the house and this is how it works.......

Controversial title on purpose....just to grab your attention!


So, as I have been growing up I have been fortunate enough to have a wonderful role model as a father, his father was great (may Allah give him jannah) and I'm sure their inspiration was Rasullah (saw) and guidance from their Shaykh...

I saw my dad wash the dishes, iron his own clothes, make the best daal and roti i have ever had, clean the windows, hoover, pick up grand-kids from school and soooooo much more. So for me, this was normal but now I actually realise how abnormal this is in some households. Man, those men are missing out on so much!

I do the same in my house for my wife and kids. We share everything (most of the time!). It's a team effort, and it is so rewarding! My son WILL help with everything just like his sister will Insha-Allah.

My point is, there is nothing more manly than helping your wife and kids around the house. It creates a proper team environment where we work for each other and everyone benefits.

Of course I have days where I'm a lazy toad but who doesn't?!

Rasulallah (saw) didn't shy away from helping his wives with chores and stuff, so by doing 'house work' you are only implementing the Sunnah. We can't argue with that....

So brothers, lets don the apron, washing up gloves and brillo pads and get cracking.....

Yes your wife, mum or sister might think you're a tad crazy but what the hell? Brownie Points big time!


Peace

Salams,

Brother, my Father and your Father were Brothers in this world

and the best cooks in the world are men!!!

Masha'ALLAH, ALLAH Bless You and Your Family. That was a good read

The world is Beautiful in a simple world!

[Malaaikah]

badman, on 23 May 2012 - 11:25 PM, said:

Salams,

Brother, my Father and your Father were Brothers in this world

and the best cooks in the world are men!!!

Masha'ALLAH, ALLAH Bless You and Your Family. That was a good read

The world is Beautiful in a simple world!

Best Cooks ? Men? Is your head feeling ok?

How did you come to this conclusion?

[badman]

Shalom,

Ramsey, Oliver, Ainsley, Wolfgang, Flay, Etc etc are not exactly women folk are they? and then there is badman who gives you the runs the very next day!!!LolZ

on a serious note some men cook really well and the obvious reason is they dont cook everyday so when they do cook they put that little extra effort in. erm ermm ermmm have you tried the langar at the mosque??? absouletly excellen-tino.

[NEEMO2401]

Salam BADMAN,

Mashallah I am sooo glad to hear you help and work together as a team at home, alhamdulilah my sister is very lucky. It creates love between family members and patience too.

I have seen many men, that shout at their wifes, for not bringing food to the table on time, or why a particular shirt has not been ironed, why shoes have not been polished, also when husbands expect thier wives, to remove their husbands socks, as well as put them on.

Alhamdulilah, just like you BROTHER BADMAN, my husband is very very supportive, ironing isn't his favourite, and i don't mind, as long as my laptops playing my favourite naats and nasheeds, I am a happy bunny.

My husband also loves cooking, and on a lovely summer day, he will cook our curry outside, he does all the DIY, so I save a fortune with petty repairs with plumbing and electrical wiring, and soo much more. I can not thank Allah Ta'ala enough for the husband I have.

Obviously, the men that don't help their wives, may have their reasons, but are also the impatient ones, take everything for granted especially their wives.

My 7 year old daughter helps around the house too, she huvers the stairs and the lounge, she loves washing up, but you know kids, they use lots of Fairy, unnecessarily. My 4 year old, does help at meal times by placing dishes on the dining table , and other bits and bobs around the housse.

So alhamdulilah I am blessed , I have the support of all three, their understand that if I am not well, that I should be looked after too, so I have to say truthfully that I am never taken for granted, we all help each other and like you said we have our lazy days , but soo what, we need a break too.

So any brothers out there reading this and thinking that these kind of wives have their husbands wrapped around their fingers, think again. You will only realise what your loved one does for you, if you start doing it in yourself, and believe me, it is rewarding, you feel good about yourself, you refrain your wives from getting tired soo soon that she needs to hit the bed even before roti time.

Appreciate to be appreciated, your wives will have much much more respect for you.

[Know-the-Ledge]

I don't do any menial work around house, I don't know how to switch an iron on, I can't cook, hoovering is alien to me, what else is there? I don't even know. Sometimes I fill my used plate up with water and leave it in the sink and I know where the laundry basket is to throw my clothes that need washing into. I have never shopped for groceries and I don't know what a bottle of Fairy Liquid looks like.

[Know-the-Ledge]

"Obviously, the men that don't help their wives, may have their reasons, but are also the impatient ones, take everything for granted especially their wives."

Generalisations, the bane of all thinking people.

[The-Mughal-Sister]

badman, on 24 May 2012 - 03:09 PM, said:

Shalom,

Ramsey, Oliver, Ainsley, Wolfgang, Flay, Etc etc are not exactly women folk are they? and then there is badman who gives you the runs the very next day!!!LolZ

on a serious note some men cook really well and the obvious reason is they dont cook everyday so when they do cook they put that little extra effort in. erm ermm ermmm have you tried the langar at the mosque??? absouletly excellen-tino.

Men cook out of passion or love, women cook as a chore, probably explains it all.

Respect to the brothers who help cook and help with chores around the house, Finding Nemo..sorry I mean Nemo you're home sounds like paradise where everything and everyone is in sync with one another, May Allah swt bless your home.

Some blokes dislike washing up or other chores because they fear it's a bit too feminine and they may find themselves admiring a dress and wondering if one comes in their size! Lol!
Come on, be brave! Man Up!

This post has been edited by The-Mughal-Sister: 24 May 2012 - 04:36 PM

[Know-the-Ledge]

"Some blokes dislike washing up or other chores because they fear it's a bit too feminine and they may find themselves admiring a dress and wondering if one comes in their size! Lol!Come on, be brave! Man Up! "

-tms

No, absolutely not. It's more associated with women but that's just a social construct and I reject that notion.

What I also rebuff is this binary and simplistic purview that a Muslim must involve in all this husbandry and if he doesn't then he's weak, failing, unhappy home, his wife doesn't appreciate him, he doesn't appreciate his wife, there's no respect, ambience, felicity or love in their house. Pure drenched in pompous sanctimony and baneful generalisations against men who happen not to be at their wife's beck and call to do some menial stuff around the house as and when required.

Religious guidance is helpful, personal details of you're domestic microcosm is nauseating and corny, especially when it's sold as being the only way, your life is not and will never be a 'template' it's just You and it reeks of self-satisfaction to swipe denigrating generalisations against men who don't follow your households 'pretty patterns'.

It's like an episode of Loose Women.

[The-Mughal-Sister]

Know-the-Ledge, on 24 May 2012 - 05:03 PM, said:

"Some blokes dislike washing up or other chores because they fear it's a bit too feminine and they may find themselves admiring a dress and wondering if one comes in their size! Lol!Come on, be brave! Man Up! "

-tms

No, absolutely not. It's more associated with women but that's just a social construct and I reject that notion.

What I also rebuff is this binary and simplistic purview that a Muslim must involve in all this husbandry and if he doesn't then he's weak, failing, unhappy home, his wife doesn't appreciate him, he doesn't appreciate his wife, there's no respect, ambience, felicity or love in their house. Pure drenched in pompous sanctimony and baneful generalisations against men who happen not to be at their wife's beck You.and call to do some menial stuff around the house.

Religious guidance is helpful, personal details of you're domestic microcosm is nauseating and corny, especially when it's sold as being the only way, your life is not and will never be a 'template, it's just You.

Lol cool yer wings!

Ok..how about the alternative, a real man is he, who knows his way around a tool box and can complete little DIY jobs with precision and skill.

My dad was a master at DIY until he resigned for the sake of God, no really he did!
He had a calling, the local masjid, it was the azzan, anyway that's another story. From this I love the smell of fresh plaster and cement it attracts me like a bee to honey, yes, I'm weird!

The million dollar question is, can you fix a shelf?
(To the wall not ceiling)

This post has been edited by The-Mughal-Sister: 24 May 2012 - 05:13 PM

[1lakh]

first of all.....aah, that makes me cry.
but it is true that in a lot of familys that does not happen, and maybe... it is going to last longer because sons of familys are not being taught to help a lot of the time.

[Snoop]

Isn't it amazing how you start off talking about something and you end up a million miles away........a bit like a video on youtube, then you click on related videos.........it goes on and on and on........

Point being that this thread wasn't supposed to big anyone up or put them down for that matter!!!

Good luck to those who have help from their partner around the house AND good luck to those who work to earn money all day and their partner stays at home to look after the house all day.

May Allah keep us all happy regardless of how much or little we do around the house....

There definitely isn't a generic template that fits all, that would be quite boring no?

So, being helpful around the house doesn't make the man a 'choowa' but not helping doesn't make him a selfish git either, right?

We ALL have different rights and responsibilities and it works differently for all of us aswell.....done deal


Peace

[NEEMO2401]

1lakh, on 24 May 2012 - 05:12 PM, said:

first of all.....aah, that makes me cry.
but it is true that in a lot of familys that does not happen, and maybe... it is going to last longer because sons of familys are not being taught to help a lot of the time.

Many people believe that its a womans job all around. Especially women elders. if they find that they grandsons are helping their mum in anyway within the home, they are not happy, because instead he should be sitting next to grandma being loved and cuddled while the grand daughter helps mum and is literally ignored my grandma.

As for you 'KNOW THE LEDGE', you are in your own little bubble now, many male students away from homes have to manage without their mothers cooking, and they have to wash their own clothes along with iron them. A few do learn a sense of responsibilty.

I love the fact knowing a few of my husbands friends are also helpful around the house, but obviously not all men help within the house, its their habit, they been bought up getting their boxers washed and dried and then put back in the draw for them.

So thank fully I am blessed, I just do dua all the sisters out there have understanding husbands, even that counts as a major supplement to a healthy relationship.

Women have feelings and desires, and are generally drawn back due to the husband not being happy about them, as long as the desires are within limits, and a husband is understanding towards his partner, he will allow her to fulfill her desires, and thats a REAL man, who wants his wifes happiness and dua. Kos a happy wife, is a happy marriage. right?

[Know-the-Ledge]

Snoop, on 24 May 2012 - 06:44 PM, said:

Isn't it amazing how you start off talking about something and you end up a million miles away........a bit like a video on youtube, then you click on related videos.........it goes on and on and on........

Point being that this thread wasn't supposed to big anyone up or put them down for that matter!!!

Good luck to those who have help from their partner around the house AND good luck to those who work to earn money all day and their partner stays at home to look after the house all day.

May Allah keep us all happy regardless of how much or little we do around the house....

There definitely isn't a generic template that fits all, that would be quite boring no?

So, being helpful around the house doesn't make the man a 'choowa' but not helping doesn't make him a selfish git either, right?

We ALL have different rights and responsibilities and it works differently for all of us aswell.....done deal


Peace

I totally and utterly agree with your balanced, sensible, well thought-out and reasonable point of view.

Reality is never on one side of
the spectrum or the other, it's in happy mediums of accommodating the millions of variables inherent in domestic situations, no two are the same and that's what i want to highlight. I do none of the menial chores around the house, to be condemned by generalisations is deeply misplaced.

So those that speak in linear formulaic senses are being myopic and lacking the circumspection needed in these topics, usually because of the delusion that the world revolves around their self-satisfied lives, apparently.

Dear lads, don't be fooled by the waffle peddled by the femme fatale, open a dialogue and find your own domestic equilibrium with the only lady that matters, your wife.

Meddling women from the neighbour-hood are the bane of my home, filling her up with hot air about what she should do and what she should make me do. Apniya women, don't let them control or bother your homes, tell them to hush, they're a dangerous species.

[Malaaikah]

The title is called 'my way or the high way' for a reason, so you can choose the Sunnah way or you can choose the high way but no ones forcing you to do anything.

We are just saying as women we prefer guys who help out a bit round the house, at the end of the day you expect it to be spotless yet your unwilling to help out? All we want you to do is look after your mess but you cant even do that! We still have to put up with it if you fail to help out no ones killing you about it!

[Mudassar-Rana]

Know-the-Ledge, on 24 May 2012 - 03:54 PM, said:

I don't do any menial work around house, I don't know how to switch an iron on, I can't cook, hoovering is alien to me, what else is there? I don't even know. Sometimes I fill my used plate up with water and leave it in the sink and I know where the laundry basket is to throw my clothes that need washing into. I have never shopped for groceries and I don't know what a bottle of Fairy Liquid looks like.

Thank God I was feeling left out for a moment!