[tanveeriqbal]

ASSALAM ALAIKUM BROTHERS AND SISTERS,
I LIVE IN RIYADH.IN MY HOME TOWN IN INDIA ONE BABY GIRL WAS ABANDONED BY A MUSLIM GIRL.
LIVING THE NEW BORN SHE WENT AWAY ,MANY HINDUS WANTED TO ADOPT THAT CHILD BUT ONE OF MY CHILDLESS RELATIVE ADOPTED THE CHILD AND THEY ARE VERY HAPPY.HERE IN RIYADH I HAD AN ARGUEMENT WITH A GROUP OF WAHABI LADIES .THEY ARGUE THAT IT IS HARAM TO ADAPT SUCH CHILDREN ,AS THEY BECOME NON MAHARIM AS THEY GROW-UP AND THE FATHERS WILL MOSTLY ABUSE THAT TYPE OF ADOPTED DAUGHTERS ACCORDING TO THEM.

I SAID WHERE WILL THAT TYPE OF CHILDREN S GO.WHY SHOULD BE THE INNOCENT CHILDREN S PUNISHED FOR THE DEEDS OF THERE PARENTS.PLEASE GUIDE ME ACCORDING TO SUNNAH AND HADIS.THANK YOU VERY MUCH

[arzooemadinah]

When one brought them up as there daughter why they will abuse them or if they do they will go in hell. Not all men do that if one in thousnads do that not mean these kids no one adopt them.

[seeker]

Saudi Arabia is a bizarre place. And their culture of segregation is even more bizarre. To the extent that brothers and sisters are segregated! This often, sadly, results in incestuous relationships and homosexuality. It comes as no surprise to me, then, that these Saudi ladies (probably who have themselves been sexually abused at some point) consider an adopted girl as a source of fitnah.

The truth of adoption is this: the child should know that they have a different lineage. Oftentimes, adopted children are told late in life and this is very distressing for them. It is best (and Islamic) to make sure they know from the start - but that their adopted parents love them very much, of course. Secondly, yes, there is the issue of Mahram. EXCEPT if the mother breastfeeds the child (while under the age of 2). If this is done, then that child becomes a mahram for all the siblings.

[Fatema-the-resplendent]

I am confused about the adoption argument in Islam, mostly I have heard objections about adopting a male since he is not a mahram to the woman/mother who adopts him even though this issue can be resolved through breastfeeding if we consider age of the male child. I have often wondered why Mullah's object to adoption of males by couples since it is likely it will create a far less likelihood of a relationship between a young man and a very much older woman. There seems to be more risk to the adoption of the female child as their relationship can never be turned into a father and daughter one. If we are to believe the theory of men having potential for molestation then this makes it more the stranger why a female child is allowed to be adopted. It is this thwarted view point and warped idea of mistrust of a woman, which is very misogynistic that it has led me to think that not allowing adoption is a man made law within Islam to further stigmatise and control the honour of women.

It isn't a feminist theory just a realistic one.

I think it's great that we can provide a home for a unloved and unwanted child and in the process save their faith. Creating centres or refuges for the orphaned or unwanted children does not fill the gap of a family.

[The-Mughal-Sister]

It's a very bleak future for girls, if their parents die or disown them it seems their life is doomed because no one would want to adopt them due to the mahram issue and if they are adopted the adopted fathers can't help themselves and end up molesting them!

Charity is dead and so has humanity died with it!

No wonder Muslims are reluctant to adopt in UK and single women come forward to adopt!

This post has been edited by The-Mughal-Sister: 11 April 2012 - 07:13 PM

[sunniskeptic]

I agree with FTR; it is another case where the 'classical' or 'orthodox' or 'traditional' [take your pick] views on adoption need to be reviewed a la Shaykh Hamza or Dr. Ramadan...

There are so many orphans in so many Muslim countries who we in the West can adopt; if Madonna can do it why not us -- especially as there are probably a lot of Muslims who are childless and would
love a child of their own,,,,

[arzooemadinah]

Fatema-the-resplendent, on 11 April 2012 - 06:50 PM, said:

I am confused about the adoption argument in Islam, mostly I have heard objections about adopting a male since he is not a mahram to the woman/mother who adopts him even though this issue can be resolved through breastfeeding if we consider age of the male child. I have often wondered why Mullah's object to adoption of males by couples since it is likely it will create a far less likelihood of a relationship between a young man and a very much older woman. There seems to be more risk to the adoption of the female child as their relationship can never be turned into a father and daughter one. If we are to believe the theory of men having potential for molestation then this makes it more the stranger why a female child is allowed to be adopted. It is this thwarted view point and warped idea of mistrust of a woman, which is very misogynistic that it has led me to think that not allowing adoption is a man made law within Islam to further stigmatise and control the honour of women.

It isn't a feminist theory just a realistic one.

I think it's great that we can provide a home for a unloved and unwanted child and in the process save their faith. Creating centres or refuges for the orphaned or unwanted children does not fill the gap of a family.

How can they solve the problem by breast feed they only can breast feed if they got same age child and she is breast feeding both same time. If a mother dont have the same age child or children elder how can she breast feed .

[sunniskeptic]

Which kind of sick individual would adopt a young child and then molest him/ her when s/he grows older?

If some people like that exist it is not an argument for not adopting children--rather those sickos need to be identified and prosecuted. Saudi is a messed up country!

--
anyway here are detailed Hanafi fiqh rulings on adoption:

http://spa.qibla.com...&ID=266&CATE=87

I find some of them a bit strange/illogical if I am honest...if I adopt a young girl and she grows up as my daughter

why should she do purdah from me? Am I so sick that I'll have sexual thoughts about her? It is this aspect that troubles
me--why do the fuqaha always take the least charitable view of human nature when it comes to matters of male-female relations?

Imagine how a little girl will feel if she is adopted and when she turns, say, 13, she can no longer see her adopted dad
anymore without purdah? Or a boy with an adopted mother?

[The-Mughal-Sister]

Slave_of_the_Two_Husayns, on 11 April 2012 - 08:15 PM, said:

Which kind of sick individual would adopt a young child and then molest him/ her when s/he grows older?

If some people like that exist it is not an argument for not adopting children--rather those sickos need to be identified and prosecuted. Saudi is a messed up country!

--
anyway here are detailed Hanafi fiqh rulings on adoption:

http://spa.qibla.com...&ID=266&CATE=87

I find some of them a bit strange/illogical if I am honest...if I adopt a young girl and she grows up as my daughter

why should she do purdah from me? Am I so sick that I'll have sexual thoughts about her? It is this aspect that troubles
me--why do the fuqaha always take the least charitable view of human nature when it comes to matters of male-female relations?

Imagine how a little girl will feel if she is adopted and when she turns, say, 13, she can no longer see her adopted dad
anymore without purdah? Or a boy with an adopted mother?

Same for the mother, the child which she taught how to walk, cuddled him in her bed comforting him from nightmares now has to do pardah when he hits puberty.

Sshe can't adopt a girl cos the fear of the man turning into a sexual deviant and she can't adopt a boy because he will be a non-mahram and the husband will not allow this!

This argument always aggravated me!! Poor orphan kids!

[tanveeriqbal]

THANK YOU FOR THE LINK.BECAUSE OF THE MAHRIM ISSUE PEOPLE ARE NOT READY TO ADOPT .THEY ARE READY TO GIVE CHARITY TO ORPHANAGE ,BUT NOT READY TO BRING A HOMELESS TO HOME .WHAT ABOUT A CHILDS BIOLOGICAL PARENTS UNKNOWN.NO MATTER HOW MUCH CHARITY IS GIVEN TO A ORPHANAGE ,IT CAN NEVER REPLACE A FAMILY WITH FATHER,MOTHER,BROTHER,SISTER.

[Khalid_the_Warrior]

The-Mughal-Sister, on 11 April 2012 - 08:37 PM, said:

Same for the mother, the child which she taught how to walk, cuddled him in her bed comforting him from nightmares now has to do pardah when he hits puberty.

Sshe can't adopt a girl cos the fear of the man turning into a sexual deviant and she can't adopt a boy because he will be a non-mahram and the husband will not allow this!

This argument always aggravated me!! Poor orphan kids!

These things about adoption always bothered me as well. Although I do understand it from the fiqh point of view but emotionally,somewhere along the lines it doesn't make sense. A girl or boy we raise up but then will have to do purda when they grow up. and this will end up creating distance between them.

So we can never be their parents? can we? Its so discourging for any future couples who wants to adopt.

[Malaaikah]

Assalaamualaikum,

This problem children being abused is a disease worldwide not solely in Saudi Arabia so I dont think we should be blaming them. Its also very common in the UK in Pakistani households dare I say. Also why are we blaming the parents are the children to blame too? Maybe Freud's view should be taken into account lol. Or maybe not.

Its just the fact that guys when they see a chance they turn into animals due to the fact that they can abuse someone. They are people who love power and control, it satisfies their ego an children are being the innocent victims in all of this.

Its a very sad state of affairs.

[Khalid_the_Warrior]

sinner123, on 11 April 2012 - 08:59 PM, said:

Its just the fact that guys when they see a chance they turn into animals due to the fact that they can abuse someone. They are people who love power and control, it satisfies their ego an children are being the innocent victims in all of this.

Its a very sad state of affairs.

Indeed its very sad state of affairs but please don't paint every guy with the same brush. There are bad apples everywhere, more so in our basket in this particular case. But I believe,there are few good guys left who don't turn in animals given the suiation.

Jazakallah

[Fatema-the-resplendent]

Khalid_the_Warrior, on 11 April 2012 - 09:11 PM, said:

Indeed its very sad state of affairs but please don't paint every guy with the same brush. There are bad apples everywhere, more so in our basket in this particular case. But I believe,there are few good guys left who don't turn in animals given the suiation.

Jazakallah

I agree Men are our Fathers, our brothers, our uncles and our husbands-they are good decent men all around us. A Good upbringing will ensure balanced, fair and decent human beings. This is not a gender issue.

[Brother_MGS]

Forget adopting children and how they may end up getting treated. What about the cruel fathers/mothers who don't have the slightest idea on how to raise the children they have created themselves? What about the stories you hear about fathers/mothers physically and mentally abusing their own daughters?

Shall we go around telling people not to consider having their own children, just because theres the possibility that somewhere down the line the father will go looney?

Most cases of adoptions that I know of are done by married couples that aren't blessed with having their own children. There are soo many couples like that out there that would love the chance to be parents, if they have the right intentions who are we to stop them?

[Malaaikah]

Its true that there are good guys out there but just like women very few! Also molesters have relations too dont forget. They are someone's father, someone's son, someone's brother and husband but they clearly have to hide their sins rather than boast about them. Anyway I'll stop here before the gender wars start.

I think that people who wish to adopt are good people and wouldnt abuse their children so inshaAllah they will provide the best environment for their children.

[The-Mughal-Sister]

I've always carried a dream to adopt a child, to give him/her love that they couldn't receive from their parents and go make him/her smile for that one day, that one moment would make all my dreams come true!!

No amount of wealth, no house, no car, no status could give me such satisfaction!! I pray for all those little kids asleep on the roads under the bridges with no one to love them no one to ask, 'have you eaten today my child?' and no one to stroke them to sleep in their lap!!

I'm sorry I get a bit teary eyed and emotional when thinking of such destitute darlings!!

I love the work The Edhi Foundation has done for orphans and kids and would love to help them InshaAllah!!!

This post has been edited by The-Mughal-Sister: 12 April 2012 - 12:39 AM

[seeker]

EDHI God bless him and his work
I'm sure you've all seen this but....

[tanveeriqbal]

THANK YOU VERY MUCH .I PRACTICALLY CAME INTO TEARS AFTER WATCHING THIS.STILL HUMANITY HAS NOT GONE,STILL PEOPLE LIKE EDHI SAB SURVIVE,MAY ALLAHA BLESS HIM WITH HEALTH WEALTH AND EVERYTHING.

OUR BELOVED PROPHET SALALLAHU ALAIHI WASALLAM GAVE THIS MESSAGE OF LOVE AND HUMANITY.HOPE WE CARRY IT INSHAALLAHA.

[qalam]

salam

my lovely sweet brothers and sisters

riyadh is a very conervative sick and twisted place. I have been for a while and can confirm that such things do take place and they are justified by using islam and the shariah.

The use and abuse of maids is a prime example of how saudis abuse and use their maids under the banner of islams attitude to slaves.

dont be afraid or shocked by this


dr aq

gcse A level BTEC GNVQ BSc Hons. MA PhD PGDip