[Know-the-Ledge]

Ftr the point about barakah is like that of children, scholars say that they bring their own barakah to a family, meaning the wife in a similar way brings her share of the pie to a marriage. In my case (and I quickly edited alot of personal information in that previous post); she's brought alot to me, my share ofcourse was prescribed, but she's brought me a huge increase: it is the beauty of a good woman though, that she meekly stands in the background smiling and letting the husband think he did it all.

This is about giving the non-working wife her dignity and precluding the 'snide remarks' you talk of.

This post has been edited by Know-The-Ledge: 13 January 2012 - 07:16 PM

[Fatema-the-resplendent]

@ Malaaikah

Not everyone is the same but if you have had the bad expereince who am I to say otherwise. Hang in there may Allah bless you with a kind Husband whatever his nationality.

@ KTL

Suppose a Man gets married and suddenly he loses his fortune or wealth. More times than not I suppose the Woman would be blamed as having no Barakah! A woman to be associated with the incoming of Wealth or good fortune is hard to understand given she plays no active role in the accumulation of his income.

I don't believe in cultural fairytales which can harm Girls.

[Know-the-Ledge]

Ftr those are superstitious understandings, nothing more. There's a qu'ran verse which i'd adduce if I was on my laptop, that when tests of God come that people say it's because of a punishment and that this is an act of disbelief to think like that.

Suppose you have a child and you then lose your job, would you blame the female child? it's just superstition to default to weak tenuous explanations which are devoid of wisdom. Because children bring sustenance with them; lack of imaan is a seperate issue.


Malaikah Malik, no offence but that's actually bigotry you're practising. Eastern Europeans have their own set of misfits; how will you ever see a good one when you can't even see goodness? All these criterion are moot in the face of, what do you bring to the table anyway? Right now I've just seen a whole ream of idealisms. No tv? That is so prissy, you've no right to commandeer your partner to that level. learn about it...

This post has been edited by Know-The-Ledge: 13 January 2012 - 07:49 PM

[Mudassar-Rana]

Suppose a Man gets married and suddenly he loses his fortune or wealth. More times than not I suppose the Woman would be blamed as having no Barakah! A woman to be associated with the incoming of Wealth or good fortune is hard to understand given she plays no active role in the accumulation of his income.

I don't believe in cultural fairytales which can harm Girls.[/font][/size]
[/quote]


Very true sis. things can work like that and have with me. but its not anyone's fault its just part of life, no one said life was easy.

[qalam]

You've already made your point on page one.

You don't have go to the trouble and repeat yourself.

and anyway who'd wanna marry you, you're already fullfilled the quota of 4 wives!

TMS

This post has been edited by The-Mughal-Sister: 13 January 2012 - 07:52 PM

[The-Mughal-Sister]

Fatema-the-resplendent, on 13 January 2012 - 07:32 PM, said:

@ Malaaikah

I don't believe in cultural fairytales which can harm Girls.

I agree with your point, why must one put an increase or decrease in wealth or a happenstance down to a person? It isn't very fair if things go wrong.

Girls who are then born or arrive after a tragic incident would be called a curse, 'manhoos' which happens many times.

[qalam]

The-Mughal-Sister, on 13 January 2012 - 07:49 PM, said:

I agree with your point, why must one put an increase or decrease in wealth or a happenstance down to a person? It isn't very fair if things go wrong.

Girls who are then born or arrive after a tragic incident would be called a curse, 'manhoos' which happens many times.

salam

very good point.


dr aq

[Brother_MGS]

I hope alot is changing now, how a man can blame his wife for bad luck or loss of fortune is beyond me. Is that what Nikkah papers say, all is good in the hood for man but as soon as he looses a few quid its the fault of the mrs.

Jahalat needs to finish big time in our people. A woman is the rock of a family, shes the thread that keeps it connected and importantly a man's everything in the sense of the world. If a married couple cannot literally share their lives together, then it must be a lonely world sleeping next to someone you know naff all about,

[Know-the-Ledge]

The-Mughal-Sister, on 13 January 2012 - 07:49 PM, said:

I agree with your point, why must one put an increase or decrease in wealth or a happenstance down to a person? It isn't very fair if things go wrong.

Girls who are then born or arrive after a tragic incident would be called a curse, 'manhoos' which happens many times.

I totally agree, a person can't be blamed; I understand that the ummah is having a nightmare where this kind of jahalat goes on, but no need to transpose those 'mares onto what I said. Every person is ordained sustenance from God; this is prescribed for them; when they get married, this does not mothball in a consolidated concentration with the husband but remains an individuated flux. Meaning that the woman is never a burden and has her own decree!! Now i'd say that this 'doubling up' of a man and a wife would create an increase in wealth, that's just basic economics, even if it doesn't or any kind of constriction (one of the names of God) takes place it is from God and blaming 'people' is an act of kufr, as you're denying the decree. It is also not a punishment from God but a test with a latent mercy hidden within (if and when that constriction takes place). How do we know it's a test and not punishment? Well Imam ALi 'alahis salaam tells us, that if you're in the rememberance of God, then no you are in blessing and any trials are merely tests; but as soon as you lose the rememberance of God, then you are in punishment. Are you lot suggesting that when a woman gets married she ceases to exist on the loh-e-mahfooz?

When you start blaming people for divine ordainments, is when you're in kufr, people do that, cest la vie; would you like to pad up with me and we can go around saving everyone Tms, how about it? I'm free tomorrow night, but I have to be back home for half ten, eight o'clock on school nights.

[Malaaikah]

Know-The-Ledge, on 13 January 2012 - 07:40 PM, said:

Ftr those are superstitious understandings, nothing more. There's a qu'ran verse which i'd adduce if I was on my laptop, that when tests of God come that people say it's because of a punishment and that this is an act of disbelief to think like that.

Suppose you have a child and you then lose your job, would you blame the female child? it's just superstition to default to weak tenuous explanations which are devoid of wisdom. Because children bring sustenance with them; lack of imaan is a seperate issue.


Malaikah Malik, no offence but that's actually bigotry you're practising. Eastern Europeans have their own set of misfits; how will you ever see a good one when you can't even see goodness? All these criterion are moot in the face of, what do you bring to the table anyway? Right now I've just seen a whole ream of idealisms. No tv? That is so prissy, you've no right to commandeer your partner to that level. learn about it...

Well you know what, I never expected any Pakistani guy to be ecstatic about my views. I know there are many people who disagree with me but the powerful tools that shapes us are our experiences. All the guys I have come across, whether they be family or not havent attracted me to marry them in any way shape or form. And I really am sorry for hurting all those nice people who happen to be Pakistani, and yes I do hate my views but I dont blame myself. What Ive witnessed is not my fault. Brother KTL, I dont care what you think of me but its clear you dislike my posts, maybe you should stay away from me in the future as I cramp your style. I just want to add that yes I do believe if you have hope in Allah anything is possible and I am overly optimistic sometimes but like I say I have seen many miracles in my life and they are mainly based on Duas which I strongly believe can change a persons life. So if Im too up in the clouds for you or in lala land all the time, I dont want to be using it as a scapegoat but its just a coping mechanism for me. Now, if I didnt have this world to escape to I would probably end up depressing everyone or making them cry.

[Know-the-Ledge]

Malaikah, classic case of persecution complex, a paralytic paranoia that everyone and everything is against you. I knew a girl like that, now I know a woman that I made her into. Best thing I ever did she says, sings my praises on the ground and not in the clouds anymore and she's not the only one, but she's my fave(amongst other favourites). Get a handle on life, these people have good intention no doubt, but laad pyaar is not a holistic approach. eik kahawat hai: denial is not a river in egypt. I have realistic experience of making women out of girls like you; you could do alot worse than lend me an ear. I'm your real friend, these guys are happy collecting naikya for being nice, me? I'm driven by results not talks, my cv is covered in glory.

This post has been edited by Know-The-Ledge: 14 January 2012 - 12:08 AM

[Fatema-the-resplendent]

Knock it off!

I feel like a School Teacher with big black specs holding a notebook in my right hand, looking down at you two pushing my specs down my nose with my left hand. Detention. In my office at 3.30pm today, Both of you!!

This post has been edited by Fatema-the-resplendent: 14 January 2012 - 12:20 AM

[Know-the-Ledge]

LAL ftr chivalry is not dead, chivalry is alive, Amir might be the problem, but Amir is also the cure and before they can every tell me "aww I miss our chats Amir" i'm off, hop skip and jump onto the next mission; malaikah you might have an uncomfortable night because of my words, but it's always darkest before dawn, the day after is like an epiphany; I never fail to get results.

[Malaaikah]

Know-The-Ledge, on 14 January 2012 - 12:07 AM, said:

Malaikah, classic case of persecution complex, a paralytic paranoia that everyone and everything is against you. I knew a girl like that, now I know a woman that I made her into. Best thing I ever did she says, sings my praises on the ground and not in the clouds anymore and she's not the only one, but she's my fave(amongst other favourites). Get a handle on life, these people have good intention no doubt, but laad pyaar is not a holistic approach. eik kahawat hai: denial is not a river in egypt. I have realistic experience of making women out of girls like you; you could do alot worse than lend me an ear. I'm your real friend, these guys are happy collecting naikya for being nice, me? I'm driven by results not talks, my cv is covered in glory.

Paranoid that everyones against me? Thats funny cos I think you misunderstood me, I said you are against me.

You always seem to think your the hero but let me tell you something: Your not the hero in this story so please can you let it go. You talk about girls like me please dont judge me when you know next to nothing about me. You say our my only friend yeh right maybe its the other way round your my enemy number 1? Your words wont let me sleep yeh cos they are actually speaking the truth loll Ive forgotten what youve said already.

[Malaaikah]

Fatema-the-resplendent, on 14 January 2012 - 12:18 AM, said:

Knock it off!

I feel like a School Teacher with big black specs holding a notebook in my right hand, looking down at you two pushing my specs down my nose with my left hand. Detention. In my office at 3.30pm today, Both of you!!

Why do I always have to get the detention he started it. Anyway Ive been in detention before its not even a punishment lol

[Know-the-Ledge]

Malaaikah, on 14 January 2012 - 01:39 AM, said:

Paranoid that everyones against me? Thats funny cos I think you misunderstood me, I said you are against me.

You always seem to think your the hero but let me tell you something: Your not the hero in this story so please can you let it go. You talk about girls like me please dont judge me when you know next to nothing about me. You say our my only friend yeh right maybe its the other way round your my enemy number 1? Your words wont let me sleep yeh cos they are actually speaking the truth loll Ive forgotten what youve said already.

Sometimes people need a good dose of themselves, makes them realise where they're going wrong; i'd rather tell a truth that draws a tear than spin tales that draw smiles (though it's about equilibriums); sometimes people need to destroy and rebuild, it makes them 'stronger for longer', short-term pain for long term tangible gains:

This post has been edited by Know-The-Ledge: 14 January 2012 - 12:20 PM

[Malaaikah]

Know-The-Ledge, on 14 January 2012 - 12:10 PM, said:

Sometimes people need a good dose of themselves, makes them realise where they're going wrong; i'd rather tell a truth that draws a tear than spin tales that draw smiles (though it's about equilibriums); sometimes people need to destroy and rebuild, it makes them 'stronger for longer', short-term pain for long term tangible gains:

Fact is what your saying is not the truth so the sooner you realise that the better. Why do you always think everyone needs your help, maybe you need help have you ever thought of that? I congratulate you that you have made yourself believe something false. Everyone seems to think they can help when all they want is inside information or to make a mockery of someone. Can you bring the dead back to life? Can you heal a dying person? Can you make the past disappear? If you can answer yes to any of the questions then go ahead try and help me but I know thats impossible.

[Luhif]

Malaaikah, on 13 January 2012 - 06:21 PM, said:

What I wanted to mention was where does money come into the equation when looking for a spouse?

That is one of the most important factor for most women nowadays which is called 'security'. I think it needs another thread for discussion but I will mention anyway that finance plays a major factor.Its very hard for men because many cannot afford to buy a house and women wont entertain who do not or cannot buy a house in near future.Women wont entertain someone who do not want to take out mortgage just to avoid riba.Once Prophet(peace be upon Him) married a Sahabiya to a Sahaba who only 'paid' some verses from Quran as dowry for Nikah.How many women would do that or even willing to live a simple life?