[Ashadieeyah]

Salaam,

I would like to start a topic off on a women's right over her husband to her own house away from her inslaws and any interference.

Is this true, if so can we get some quotes?

JZK

This post has been edited by The-Mughal-Sister: 03 July 2011 - 09:43 PM

[The-Mughal-Sister]

In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

The Shariah has given certain rights to the husband, just as it has give rights to the wife. Many times, failure to give the spouses their rights results in conflict and eventually breakdown of Marriage.

These rights, at times, may not go down to well with certain people and cultures. However, it is necessary for us to educate those Muslims who have been affected by cultural customs and traditions, and inform them of the injunctions of Shariah.

The benefit of learning and educating the masses about the rules and injunctions of Shariah with regards to social affairs is that each party will appreciate what the other has to offer. Subsequently, this will lead to respect, love and harmony.

For example, it is not necessary upon the wife to cook for or serve her parents in-law. Now, many people believe that it is the duty of the wife to look after not only the household affairs but all the family members including the nephew, niece, etc... If she is negligent in any way, then she is rebuked.

However, if the in-laws did not regard this as an incumbent duty of the wife, and she on her own accord took care of the household work, then this work will surely be appreciated. She will also in turn do her best to give something back in return for this appreciation.

Therefore, it is our duty that we teach the masses and inform them of the injunctions of Shariah with regards to social affairs. This may be a Jihad, and one will no doubt face much opposition from culturally oriented individuals, but the rewards by Allah will be immense Insha Allah.

Question: The Wife’s Right to an Independent ‘Shariah House’

Coming to your question, In the Hanafi school, the wife has a right to live (and demand to live) separately. It is the duty and responsibility of the husband to provide her with shelter (suknah). This shelter must, if she demands so, be free from the interference of any of the husband’s family. The responsibility of the husband will be fulfilled if the wife is provided with a separate area within the house, and where she is able to keep her belongings and where none of the husband’s family members are able to enter.

Imam al-Haskafi states in Durr al-Mukhtar:

“It is necessary for the husband to provide the wife with a shelter (home) that is free from his and her family members…. taking into consideration both their economic standings. A separate quarter within the house that has a lock, separate bathroom and kitchen will be [minimally] sufficient.”

The great Imam Ibn Abidin (Allah have mercy on him) comments on this by saying:

“The reason behind al-Haskafi’s statement “Free from his family members” is that at times it may be harmful for her to share the house with other people, as her belongings may not be safe. Also, she will not able to enjoy her husband’s company in the presence of other people”.

Regarding al-Haskafi’s statement “Separate bathroom and kitchen”, this may defer from one family to another. Poor people who normally share these things with other families may find it difficult to provide a house with a separate bathroom and cooking area. Therefore, for them it will be sufficient to provide a separate quarter that has a lock” (Radd al-Muhtar 3/559-600).

Imam al-Kasani states in his Bada’i al-Sana’i:

“It is necessary to provide the wife with shelter as Allah Most High Says: “Let the women live in the same stile as you live, according to your means. And annoy them not, so as to restrict them” (al-Talaq, 6).

So what about the other family members?

If the husband desired her to live with his other wife or his family members, such as: his mum, sister, daughter from another wife or relatives, and she refused, then it will incumbent upon him to provide her with a separate living quarter. The reason for this is that she may be harmed in co-sharing, and her refusal is a sign of harm. Also, the spouses need to fulfill their mutual sexual needs whenever the need arises, which may be difficult with others around.

If the husband provided her with a separate quarter in a large home, which has a separate lock, then she will not have right to demand for a total separate house” (Kasani, Bada’i al-Sana’i, Vol.4, P.23).

In Conclusion

In conclusion, it is the responsibility of the husband to provide the wife with shelter. If she demands it to be separate from the husbands family, then the husband will be obliged to provide a living quarter which is free from the interference of others and that it has a separate lock. As far as the bathroom and cooking area is concerned, this should also be separate if they are not from a poor family background (as Ibn Abidin mentions in length in his super commentary), or else the responsibility will be discharged by providing the above.

And Allah knows best

http://qa.sunnipath....asp?HD=1&ID=273

[Brother_MGS]

Fantastic evidence posted by Sister TMS. I believe for a healthy relationship between a married couple, they should be entitled to their own house. This would also leave a stable relationship with all Inlaws, as a married couple will never feel violated and boxed in. Having ones own home is important, as its a retreat aswel as their castle but also demonstrates the persons personality. We as human's naturally want to decorate our houses to our own taste's etc.

But then again one has to determine the man's responsiblities to his family. Eventually his parents will get old, will the wife be willing to look after them? take them into her home?. What if the man is a breadwinner for his family already? he pays the bills?.

[diwanisarkarki]

Great post sis mughal \

i met wid few ppl who think their bahu is only a maid not wife of thier son... i just hate such jahills

[piara-madinah]

yes she can ask for seperate but as sister tms replied that a quarter in the house itself sufficent , she can ask seperete house but its again if he can afford if he cant afford how can he able to buy a house but many wives not wise and ask husband a seperate house and he cant afford that and then differences arise .

Always ask and demand what is in his reach , we discussed many times before the similiar topics . For a husband that is adviseable if he can provide easily another house buy one or rent one if not then share with the family but make a balance give her privacy , a proper bedroom and kitchen and bath , toilet etc what she can use for her own.

if they cant afford sometimes a little extension will help and for a happy realtionship better only demand what husbands can provide easily.

In our socity and culture many husbands can afford seperate house but they dont provide one that is not good and many parents not let them go there own that is again not good if they got the facility better avail it and if got money better spend it.

[mabs]

i know what u are saying is true, but i have been brought up otherwise so its kind of hard to understand who looks after the husbands parents? in my family its the daughter inlaw (wife of son) but our religion says different, so who is supposed to cook/clean for the husband parents?
sorry to sound un-educated, im not putting an arguement up, im just wondering.