[The-Mughal-Sister]

Family’s ‘Honour Crime’ Shame
Police hail bravery of Leicester woman as parents are sentenced to kidnapping

A LEICESTER woman who helped police convict members of her family after they kidnapped her said it was a “heart wrenching but right” decision.
The 22-year-old, who does not want to be named, was hailed for her bravery in helping police convict her mother, father, sister, two uncles and two family friends, after they kidnapped her over her relationship with another man.
The group drove the victim from her home in Leicester to Bolton last July.
She only managed to escape after her family found out police in Leicester were investigating a missing persons report filled out by her boyfriend a day earlier.
Speaking after five family members and two family friends were sentenced for their part in her kidnap, she said: “This has been an extremely difficult time for me, I am glad that justice has been done and that the people who committed this crime have been convicted.
“Reporting what was happening to me by my own family was traumatic and heart wrenching but I knew I was doing the right thing. I never expected those who raised me and guided me through my early years would take away my freedom to live my life the way I wanted to.
“No one should have to live according to others and I can now look to the future with my partner. I would encourage anyone experiencing what I did to speak to the police.”
Fifteen members of the victim’s family and friends were initially arrested and charged for their part in the incident.
The Crown Prosecution Service offered no evidence against eight of the fifteen who were originally charged in connection with the offence.

But seven people were convicted for their part in the kidnap.
They were the victims mother, Zarina Adam, 48, and father, Ismail Adam, 53, of St Saviours Road, Leicester, who were both sentenced to six months in prison suspended for two years and six month supervision orders. Zarina was also ordered to do 160 hours unpaid work, Ismail 180 hours unpaid work.
Also sentenced was the victims sister, Anisha Khankara, 30, of Milton Avenue, London. She was sentenced to six months in prison suspended for two years and a four-month curfew between 7pm and 6am.
Two of the victims uncle’s were also convicted. Arif Mohamed, 37, of Ruby St, Bolton, was sentenced to six months in prison suspended for two years and ordered to do 180 hours unpaid work. Farouk Hafezi Mohamed Adam, 37, of Evington Valley Rd, Leicester, will be sentenced later this month.
Two family friends, Asma Kolia, 44, of Constance Road, Leicester, was sentenced to three months in prison suspended for two years and ordered to do 100 hours unpaid work, and Arif Voraji, 31, of Wicklow Drive, Leicester was sentenced to 6 months in prison suspended for two years and ordered to do 120 hours unpaid work.
The group have been banned from making contact with the victim indefinitely, or until she chooses to contact them, after pleading guilty at an earlier hearing to conspiracy to put a person in fear of violence.
The investigation into the kidnap began on July 11 2009 when the victim’s partner came to the police to report her missing. She had left her family home a year earlier to live with her partner and her family did not approve.
On July 11, while walking on Kingfisher Avenue in Leicester, she was grabbed by friends and family members and taken to an address on St Saviours Road. She had her mobile phones taken from her and was then driven to Bolton against her will.


She was held overnight and then taken to another address in Bolton the following day but when her family found out that police were investigating her disappearance she was driven back to Leicester.
She was told to go to police and give a false statement to say that she had chosen go to Bolton and that she was not being forced to do anything against her will.
In the days that followed, supported by a police domestic violence officer, detectives encouraged her to reveal the truth about her ordeal.
On October 14 seven members of her immediate family plus close friends were arrested from three addresses in Leicester and one in London.
Three more people were arrested on November 3 and on November 24 a further five people were arrested from addresses in Bolton and Preston.


In the weeks that followed a one more person was arrested in Leicester.
Speaking after the case Detective Chief Inspector Andy Lee, who led the investigation said the victim had “left a legacy” for others in the same situation to seek help.
“The bravery this woman has shown, in supporting this prosecution against her own family and friends, has been very humbling to witness,” he said.
“She has done more than secure justice for herself, she has left a legacy that will help give other victims of the same kind of crime find the strength to come forward and report these crimes to the police.
“Who knows how many men and women - currently frightened into silence in the name of family honour - will be so affected by this result that they too make a decision to break the cycle in the knowledge that the police and the courts will take their concerns seriously.
“These crimes are often referred in the media as ‘honour crimes’ but ‘honour’ is a word that suggests there is a value in the actions taken by the offenders. Regardless of the background there was no ‘honour’ to what this woman went through.
“I know that it has been a long and difficult process for her. Nothing is harder than giving evidence against your own family. I hope that she, her partner and their family can now move forward with their lives.”

http://www.theasiantoday.com/article.aspx?articleId=2265

[The-Mughal-Sister]

This girls family have been sentenced, her family members convicted. I don’t think she will ever get to speak to her family again.

Yes, a heart wrenching decision, but what I would like to know is what would you do if you were the family member? Would you report your family in? Help the person in question? Or step away from this mess?

 What is the correct way to deal with a complex situation?

[faizaneattar26]

salam its good to see that people who do injustice are dealt with in this way. my only question is what punishment will the girl get for having a boyfriend?

[Fekay]

Honestly speaking, this type of situation depends on family to family. It's the question of lover or family.

• Religion
• Family
• Marriage choice

The saddest thing about this type situation is, " it's a no win". Even tho all three points are important, you can't have all,. So it's best to pick the one where you loose the least!

Also i think it's fair to say, everyone holds a little blame when it comes to this. But if i got my family locked up, i'd have flash backs all my life, so this type of life would be no good either.

[The-Mughal-Sister]

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Asif-63-92-1 (03.12.2010)

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Honestly speaking, this type of situation depends on family to family. It's the question of lover or family.

• Religion
• Family
• Marriage choice

The saddest thing about this type situation is, " it's a no win". Even tho all three points are important, you can't have all,. So it's best to pick the one where you loose the least!

Also i think it's fair to say, everyone holds a little blame when it comes to this. But if i got my family locked up, i'd have flash backs all my life, so this type of life would be no good either.

This is the dilemma in question. It is difficult decision for anyone to make, be that the person who is getting forced, or a family member who knows all this happening but is unable to speak to due family izzat.

Parents are parents; no matter what they do I wouldn’t want to see them punished in any shape or form in this world.
Yes Brother Asif, it is a no win situation, no matter what the person in this situation does, they will never be happy may that be with their choice of partner or a partner chosen by their parents.

Choose to live with the family at a cost?
or go to the authorities and run the risk of losing your family for ever and the family izzat?

 

 

[MVA]

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faizaneattar26 (03.12.2010)

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my only question is what punishment will the girl get for having a boyfriend?

The answer is nothing!!! As soon as you realise that she is not governed by sharia law in this country, the better. She is free to do as she pleases, she will have to answer for her own actions so why are you so ready to punish her?

[faizaneattar26]

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MVA (03.12.2010)

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faizaneattar26 (03.12.2010)

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my only question is what punishment will the girl get for having a boyfriend?

The answer is nothing!!! As soon as you realise that she is not governed by sharia law in this country, the better. She is free to do as she pleases, she will have to answer for her own actions so why are you so ready to punish her?

salam brother i just asked a question. i know she is not governed by sharia law in this country. she needs to be told that okay what she did with the family was okay but she is no angel either. she might not get punished here but if she does not make tauba then she will have to face allah azwajall. if the boyfriend bit was not included then it was fine all the way.

[SikandarB]

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MVA (03.12.2010)

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The answer is nothing!!! As soon as you realise that she is not governed by sharia law in this country, the better. She is free to do as she pleases, she will have to answer for her own actions so why are you so ready to punish her?

Oh, so in a country governed by Sharia Law you’d be punished for having a boyfriend/girlfriend?

[The-Mughal-Sister]

Come on brothers break it up and let's get back to the topic.

What would you do in difficult position?

Would you go to the authorities or try to resolve the matter with the family?

[Know-the-Ledge]

I would forgive my parents for what they did to me, but I would never forgive them for what they did to themselves!


If people weren't held over a barrel to marry some loola with bum-fluff for a moustache, then maybe they wouldn't be so rebellious!

[beautifulwayoflife]

I can not even imagine my parents doing that! Allah forbid was this to actually happen, I would try speaking to my parents and being honest with them. What parent would want their child to suffer? One must remember that it is not the parents that are getting married, but their daughter/son who is going to have to wake up with this person and live with them...not the parents! (I would not report my parents though)

It would help if the parents were educated...as in they understood that forcing their daughter/son to marry is not allowed in Islam. Perhaps it would be an idea to have someone you trust (like an aunt, grandparent, someone who you trust and someone who may influence the parents) and let them know how you feel and what you would like. 

I also think that parents should have a connection with their children. I mean how do you expect someone to listen to you if you've never really been there for them! I think communication is key here. I mean I know sisters who are "scared" to even speak with their fathers, whereas I sit and talk to my father all the time, about everything...Tis important to have a good relationship with your parents. I mean now my father knows exactly what I'm like, what I want in life and so on, and thus should the question of marriage arise (which it has) he would know what I'd want.

[Modest-Muslimah]

[quote]The Mughal Sister (03.12.2010)

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[quote][b]quote]

This is the dilemma in question. It is difficult decision for anyone to make, be that the person who is getting forced, or a family member who knows all this happening but is unable to speak to due family izzat.

Parents are parents; no matter what they do I wouldn’t want to see them punished in any shape or form in this world.
Yes Brother Asif, it is a no win situation, no matter what the person in this situation does, they will never be happy may that be with their choice of partner or a partner chosen by their parents.

Choose to live with the family at a cost?
or go to the authorities and run the risk of losing your family for ever and the family izzat?

 [/quote]

I agree with the highlighted part to a certain extent....i'm sure no-one would want to see their parents punished at all, however i know Islam says to always respect and obey your parents regardless, but doesn't islam also say the only time you can disobey them is when they are doing or saying something against islam? therefore, i know for a fact islam does not permit parents kidnapping their children, for whatever reason or whatever wrong their child may have done, so technically what the parents were doing is against islam so yeh the parents should be punished. However, where this gets really complicated is the fact this girl had a boyfriend, and wanted to live with him, so i can see where the parents were coming from, but they dealt with it completely the wrong way and for the wrong reason. Don't know why people give such a toss about the family 'izzat' but don't give a toss about the well-being of their own child.

This is where people like these have gone mad....especially those backward pakistanis who still see girls as second-class citizens with no feelings.....whereas they don't know the blessing behind having three daughters, let alone even one! sorry to say but families like these get what they deserve.......

[The-Mughal-Sister]

Jazakallah Kheir to all the users who replied.

I have come to the conclusion that this issue is still highly sensitive and people don’t want to discuss it let alone go to the authorities and report their family members.

[Mudassar-Rana]

It is a sensitive topic because its highly hypothetical - the practice of forced marriage is alhamdlilah not a "popular" one!

The question being why is there very little hidayat/guidance from those that our parents listen to? i.e imam's etc Shouldnt it be made categoric that these things are haram and very far from islam. There is a breed of parents who believe that whatever they say is islam and anything else is kufr! Other agents of change such as islamic groups also ought to culture elders as well as hunting for young blood.

I for one would do utmost in my hands to stop such an event taking place before reporting it to the police simply because it is unwarranted attention to my deen.

[beautifulwayoflife]

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Mudassar Rana (09.12.2010)

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 Other agents of change such as islamic groups also ought to culture elders as well as hunting for young blood. 

They should...but I know a buzurgh who went to his son's shaykh to ask him about why he has 'taken' his son and whatever...I don't know the full discussion but the shaykh said he does not let elders do 'bayt' with him (he only lets youngsters) :ermm: So I presume this whole educating the elders thing is out of question with this particular shaykh
The parents who do this clearly have no understanding regarding this matter. I think educating them is key here (if they are willing to listen) 

[Khalid_the_Warrior]

Well putting your parents in prison. No way

This is way out of order what she did.

Well parents should have tried and speak to the girl about the boyfriend. The problem is not that she was being forced. The problem is here that she had a boyfriend and her parents allowed that to happen in the first place.

Parents should never let things go that far. So parents are at fault here as well.

We seems to inlcude culture in everything. e.g don't do this izzat na sawal hai. This is not a good way of teaching childerns.

Parents needs to be more proactive then reactive otherwise these things will be happen more and more in muslim families.

We need a wakeup call! Turn,Turn,Turn

[Know-the-Ledge]

"There are two things which are infinite, the universe and human stupidity and i'm not sure about the former" - Einstein


How do you legislate for human stupidity TMS? Maybe send them back to school and force them to concentrate on the parts where they teach honour, respect and perspective!

[Mudassar-Rana]

yes it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks - and it appears there are many that need to learn a whole circus of tricks!

More seriously though the elders will always resist if the get a sniff that someone is trying to teach them, it needs to be subtly done and in my view the importance of the jummah khutbah should not be underestimate. It is the only time that the elders arrive before the youngsters and it is the only time when the imam has the full attention of his audience.

These 30 minutes need to used for changing hearts and minds rather like the way imam's hassan and hussein taught an elderly man how to do wudu without embarrassing him.

The difficult thing is who is going to have the foresight to tell the imam? The committee is also made up of elders - they're not going to exactly want to reform themselves!

[The-Mughal-Sister]

I was having a discussion about this the other day. Instead of these Muslim channels broadcasting hate for other sects, these channels speak the language of our elder generation so why don't they produce a programme regarding the issues that face the Pakistani/Mirpuri community and educate the elder folk, make people understand that this practice is barbaric and only relates to culture not Religion.

Prime time television and programming, a great time to educate the audience.

 

[Know-the-Ledge]

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The Mughal Sister (11.12.2010)

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I was having a discussion about this the other day. Instead of these Muslim channels broadcasting hate for other sects, these channels speak the language of our elder generation so why don't they produce a programme regarding the issues that face the Pakistani/Mirpuri community and educate the elder folk, make people understand that this practice is barbaric and only relates to culture not Religion.

Prime time television and programming, a great time to educate the audience.

 

Culture supersedes religion to them! Religion is onerous, culture breeds familial honour and hubris if practised fully - won't work!


Because they value their culture more than their religion. Religion is hard to follow it hurts the nafs and lowers you in the eyes of people, whereas culture helps to show you in a good light to the community and it builds your honour and increases your pride, you might not agree with it, but it's what's important to the elders.