sunniskeptic, on 22 December 2011 - 09:49 PM, said:
I do not think one can generalise a whole community but having been there and done that (and I've got the
T shirt!) I can only agree with the brother. I do not think I will marry a girl from Pakistan again
as culturally we are very different. Certainly I found I had very little in common with a lower middle
class Pakistani girl; our values and outlook on life was very different.
Having said that I think someone who is very pious and practising could be happy with a
girl from Pakistan as most of these brothers just seem to want a girl who will have their children and
cook and clean for them and do the housework and most Pakistani girls (not all) and certainly those
from the countryside are brought up with the understanding that their role in life is to be a good
housewife. Nothing wrong with it if that's what you want.
I think it makes more sense to marry someone from the culture we grew up in; I am only talking
for myself but I tend to find I'd have more in common with a girl who is from the UK (even if she
is not Pakistani or Muslim initially) than someone from back home. That has been my personal
I do think though that it doesn't help us to integrate into our host countries if we keep on bringing in freshies
for each generation to marry. Don't even get me onto the first cousin marriage issue!
To the original poster:brother, you have one life--don't waste it being miserable. It will be fairer for both of you
if you get out of the marriage now. Then try finding someone you are more compatible with. It all depends on what
you want in a partner.
Best of luck! :-)
someone mentioned that our parents/grandparents generation never got divorced. i think it was
more a case of staying in a marriage no matter what due to the social shame of divorce.
believe in marrying only for love.Better single and happy than married and miserable although being married and happy is the goal.
If you dont like pakistani girls fair enough but as you mentioned lower middle class what is your opinion only lower middle class marry abroad or what. But brother what I gathered may be you only met lower middle pakistanies , same we had classes here same in pakistan , marry in high class but they may not fit with you , we most marry the class we belong to ,very few marry lower class if they high class or very few marry high class if they from lower class.
most marry from relitives so then again the same class they belong to if you are from a very high class in ist place you will not involve with lower class so why criticise pakistani middle glass girls if they not got anything common with you .
but the problem as you mentioned countryside you mean villages etc yes they got nothing common but bhai 95%girls and boys come abroad by marriage and the main reason is they are there ist cousins etc , that mean if they are from middle lower class who they maarying they are the lower middle class as well , so what is the difference , difference is only money pounds etc savings but nothing else different they close relitives the class is same .
I agree with you on one point parents never think what is common but only uneducated parents because there vision is limited and in few cases I seen if a brother got 4 sons and his sister got 4 daughters they arranged all four marry each other and bring all abroad .
in many cases the familes in uk or usa they live abroad years and years but the culture same as villiagers and they never change when you meet them you feel you are in a deprived village in pakistan so the parents got everything common with them and I think the fault in children is well why cant they not try to change them slowly and teach them new things etc culture , new and easy living etc .
and when it comes to marriage the boy and girl can claim no I am not marrying in pakistan instead they keep the silence and get married and then found problems but by that time too late.
Still many parents they engage there kids and they didnt even ask them so that is parents fault but because of lack of education and lack of islamic teachings but good if you brothers and sisters speak out and tell them at good time that dont engage me anywhere we not marrying in pakistan if they angry get any elders involved by doing that you will save your life and the lower middle class girls life as well.
But still if parents wants there kids marry pakistan its better give them few chances visit few times and after if they agree but many what they do engage and go few days before marriage and then no choice they marry come here then problems they dont like each other and many when they visit , they go for few days and everytime they visit only the villages and from airport to village and back so many think only pakistan got lower middle class girls and boys only when ever visit , visit cities as well there are all class people live.
but the key is if we lower class relitives lower if we high relitives high .But in uk usa we think there is only one class pakistanies but no after maariage people realise we got classes here as well but we recognise them while we live with them .