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Posted 04.02.2010 11:27:30


Waxing Crescent

Waxing Crescent

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Salam Alaikum everyone,

One of my colleague is in need of ur advice.She is a hindu girl and these days she is really impetience and emotional...Nothing can describe her torments that she going thru...i will try make it short... 

Her first husband died and recently she been seperated from her second husband and now she lives at her mom's house. She doesnt want to marry again but want to live with her second husband.Actually her husband is worst than an animal , He becomes an insaan in the day time and haywaan at night, he beat her up and his kids also, who is just few months baby.He drink alcohol on a regular basis, and made her life hell.

She filed a case in court and its taking too much time,Her husband wants her to come back but she says if her husband admits in the court that he had beaten her and her kids then she would go back to her husband's house but he is not saying so, of course no one will admit it in the court , and she is doing so coz once he admit it then she would have been given security from the court and next time if he beats her then she would legally be stronger and action would be taken againt him.

one thing is clear that he would never ever his faults in the court and therefore another measure should be taken but not thru the court but b/w the elders, and what should be that????

plzz guys advice something so i can forward it to her...

hope to hear soon  

Jazakallah khairan

 




Ya Allah send your peace and blessing on the Final Prophet and his family and his companions and those who follow him.
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Posted 04.02.2010 14:02:44


Waxing Gibbous

Waxing Gibbous

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I think the writing is on the wall, seperate from him and hope that absence makes his heart fond for here, if not, then it's unrequited love, an emotional pain but one that has no medicine apart from patience.


May Allah increase my enviers.


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Posted 05.02.2010 11:04:08


Waxing Crescent

Waxing Crescent

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main problem is that it is her second marriage and doesnt want to go for the third one and thats why she wants to live with him only.Her husband wants her to back but she is afraid that he might do the same as he did before

how long she would have petience, she is in 30s, and what will she do in her whole life???  Thats what bothers me




Ya Allah send your peace and blessing on the Final Prophet and his family and his companions and those who follow him.
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Posted 05.02.2010 18:10:24


First Quarter

First Quarter

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zarqa (05.02.2010)
main problem is that it is her second marriage and doesnt want to go for the third one and thats why she wants to live with him only.Her husband wants her to back but she is afraid that he might do the same as he did before

how long she would have petience, she is in 30s, and what will she do in her whole life???  Thats what bothers me

salams,

by the looks of things she still wants him and he still wants her which is a good start!!  i think the problem is with his excessive drinking you say he is all bani adam during the day but becomes a hawanni insan during the nights. 

the question is why is he drinking so much?  what are the reasons for his exsessive drinking? he clearly needs help,  both of them need to sit down and talk about this. the reason people drink majority of the time is cos of boredom or pressures at work/ social standing i.e respect in the community (maybe people think of him as an outcast) so to get out of this he drinks in excess, then goes home and takes his frustrations out on his wife, unfortunately. 

maybe moving out of the area they are living in at the moment could help, what do you think?  your freind (his wife) making a little effort by make some nights special so he does not go out?  instead of him going to shops to buy alcohol on his own ask your freind to go with him and gradually asks him instead of buying drinks he spends a lttle of that money on his children,  by doing this (InshALLAH) he might start controlling his excess drinking.

remember your freind will need patience and a freind, so be there for her for her to help her husband InshALLAH.  the problem is his excessive drinking,  she will need to practice patience on him and InshALLAH they will prosper.  females are a lot stronger than males, when they put their heart to something - most times they do succseed. 

 i hope things work out for them, InshALLAH.  all the best.

 

      



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Posted 05.02.2010 19:19:36


Waxing Crescent

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Zahir, don’t kid yourself that there is a remote possibility of this guy changing his ways. If he had any remorse he would have indicated it by the acceptance of his crime in the court. Even if there was, the severity of the damage that this going back step may entail is too high in my opinion.

We can only take decisions based on the information that is available and keeping this in mind, I second KTL, Go back to an alcoholic, child and wife beater? No, No! Leave him and fight to death to leave him.

 

Sikandar!




The secret of the Self is hid, In words "No god but He alone".
 
- Sir Muhammad Iqbal

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Posted 09.02.2010 07:33:14


Waxing Crescent

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hmm confused......

i think it must work as zahir said that they should spend some time together and discuss where the problem is then it may work... I told her to talk with him if he rings you and try to sort out the things themselves rather than thru courts. 

But should she call him first or wait for his call ???




Ya Allah send your peace and blessing on the Final Prophet and his family and his companions and those who follow him.
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